Dennis Kucinich is an Angry, Angry Man : Speech at DNC Reveals Slight Chip on Shoulder

With keynote speakers like Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton under their belts, and Joe Biden and Bill Clinton scheduled tonight, the Democratic National Convention need not promote or publicize every single guest that steps on the Denver, Colorado stage. What’s more understandable is the decision (whether intentional or not) not to alert the media of guest speaker Ohio Senator Dennis Kucinich, who’s 6-plus minute speech on everything that is wrong with America gained mixed reactions:

Kucinich’s obvious anger and disdain for the mistakes made by the Bush Administration is both admirable and destable.  While accountability and responsibility are two things needed to be addressed by the perpetrator’s of said crimes, it’s important to keep a level head in this crucial transitionary period.  Critics and skeptics are quick to lean to judgement, especially when the line between passion and psychotic is drawn so thin.

McCain Asks Youth : “Who’s Your Daddy Yankee”?!

In a stunning attempt to prove to the country that he’s with the times (if the time was 2004 … in which he would still be dinosaur old), Republican presidential hopeful John McCain announced a surprising, yet irrelevant, endorsement :

Just look at McCain’s crooked, eerily satisfied smile on his face.

John McCain - Shit-eater

Team Obama has some serious catching up to do.  To think, while focusing on the working-class white and the greater Hispanic community, they so carelessly missed the Puerto Rican-reggaeton-rappers niche, a crucial battle ground demographic.  I hear that Tego Calderon is still looking to endorse a candidate.

[Via Gawker]

Four of the Worst Vice Presidents Barack Obama Did Not Pick

Democratic Presidential hopeful Barack Obama has announced that Senator Joe Biden will be his running mate in his quest to reclaim the White House. In all this anticipation, pundicts and political critics alike have had their share of potential running mates that would have been great candidates. On the flip side, Comedy Central’s Weekly Evil explores the four VP picks that would have worked out for the worst. And, it’s only coincidental that Tom Shillue looks like a much more youthful Dennis Kuncinich. But still hilarious:

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Comedy Central Releases “Lost” Norm MacDonald Roast Clips

Just like Lorne Michael’s and SNL before them, Comedy Central has cut Norm MacDonald’s brilliant set at the Roast of Bob Saget, then brought it back as a unreleased, uncensored special feature in the CC Insider. After hearing his bit from last Sunday was put back for the public, MacDonald quickly responded via video post from a remote location:

I’ve added the clips back to our initial post here.

Capello Names John Terry New Captain of England National Team

Chelsea’s John Terry will wear the captain’s armband and lead the England National team against their World Cup Qualifier versus the Czech Republic this Wednesday. Coach Fabio Capello appointed the center back for his second role as skipper, ahead of Rio Ferdinand of Manchester United, who was named vice-captain.

A rather tough decision made, as Capello had the likes of Liverpool’s Steven Gerrard and Aston Villa’s Gareth Barry to choose from.  As a Chelsea supporter, Capello made the best decision for the team.  After significant dissappointment in both Premiership and Champions League final, he’s centered, focused, and ready to lead England to victory.

[Terry/Ferdinand image via Sky News]

Ridiculous: Norm MacDonald’s Bob Saget Anti-Roast Gets Left on Cutting Room Floor

UPDATE: Comedy Central’s CC Insider Blog has FINALLY released the Norm clips, to which I added to this entry. Though many kudos to Videogum for getting it online before hand.

more about “untitled“, posted with vodpod

Old-lady vaginas, Olson insults, and gay bashings were a-plenty at Comedy Central’s Roast of Bob Saget. The only thing missing (purposefully?) was the audience baffling, genius set delivered by one Norm MacDonald.

Luckily us, Videogum snagged his set before the comedy gold was brushed aside. If you’ve ever wanted to see a huge room simutaniously fake understanding of something that clearly is over their heads, continue to watch on. below

Nightmarishly Bad Photoshops: Olympics Edition

Apparently I’m not alone in this, but I’ve found the 2008 Summer Olympics to be surprisingly watchable thus far. Obviously, the big story from an American standpoint is Michael Phelps destroying his competition at will while adding to his extensive gold medal collection. And since your average American has no problem basking in the reflected glory of an incredibly dominant athlete, particularly in international competition (even if that athlete is a pretty obvious cheater), it’s pretty clear to whom NBC should attribute the ratings boom.

But give Joe American credit. He’s not just willing to hop aboard the bandwagon, he’s also willing to find a way to exploit the bandwagon. Unconfirmed reports (I made this up) have the prices of swimming lessons up $20 an hour. American flags, miniature and otherwise, are at their highest cost in nearly seven years. Clearly, there’s a buck to be made here. That’s the beauty of capitalism.

Likewise, there’s another beauty we Americans have called freedom of expression. You can find that bad boy in a number of places. One of them, provided your content is neither stolen nor inclusive of tits, is YouTube. The beauty of YouTube is that you can post whatever message you want to share with the world and distribute it for free! What a deal.

And the offer isn’t just limited to Americans. No, even people in countries that aren’t The Second Most Powerful Nation in the World are free to post about whatever trivial matters concern them. War, famine, all that bullshit. I’m not quite sure what China’s deal is.

Anyway, this brings me in a roundabout way to the work of paintmaster343. Purportedly based in Saudi Arabia, Mr. (call it a hunch) 343 recently posted a video that grabbed my attention:

Brock Lesnar Was Not, In Fact, In Trouble On Saturday Night

Yeah, he won.

EDIT: Let’s see how long this one of round one lasts.

Brock Lesnar Could Be In Trouble This Saturday

Former WWE Champion Brock Lesnar returns to the Octagon in Minneapolis, Minnesota this Saturday night, looking to pick up his first UFC win in the semi-main event of UFC 87: Seek and Destroy. Lesnar looked absolutely terrifying for the first 80-85 seconds of the fight. Unfortunately, he didn’t look all that hot in the following five:

And so the former NCAA Division I amateur wrestling champion came away with a rather impressive loss that can be attributed heavily to both his opponent’s experience and his own inexperience. In looking for the kill, Lesnar became overly aggressive and Frank Mir was able to suck him in and tap him out in a matter of seconds.

Paris Hilton Deals Out a Political Pwn of Epic Proportions

You have to hand it to Paris Hilton.  The bitch can’t do anything right on her own.  But tell her what to do in front of a camera, with footage poised for internet distribution, and she’s Dame Judi Dench.

Adding to the outrage the Hilton camp has been screaming over John McCain’s most recent Obama-smear, Hollywood’s favorite cock-eyed princess has teamed up with Funny or Die to deliver her own one-two punch. And by that, I mean brilliantly scripted faux-ad that I’m sure took her several hundred takes to nail:

more about “Paris Hilton Deals Out a Political Pw…“, posted with vodpod

If Paris actually ran for office, I would probably support her. Unlike politicians like Elliot Spitzer and Bill Clinton before her, her exploited sexual deviancy has only helped her popular vote. And she certainly wouldn’t waste our time asking for the definition of “is”: she simply wouldn’t understand.

[Hilton 08' Ad via Huffington Post]