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This is just a little hors d’oeuvre to start your blog reading day. Besides, I sure do love the use of the double entendre.
A Very Brief Comparative Analysis of Sex & the City*
* eavesdropping on a fellow rider of the mass transit system.
I was riding the famously, filthy NYC subway when I overheard a young (non-Caucasian) woman, talking about The Sex & the City movie. She and I had the same newspaper, AMNY, (and yes, I know I’m a cheap bastard and a lazy reader for not buy the New York Times).
Moving on…
She was reading the review excerpt (Josh Tyrangiel, Time) that they insert on the movie ad placement. She reads the quote and it states, “If you are a woman there is nothing in the world that will keep you from this movie.”She then yells” Well ain’t that some shit. White women are now becoming all gangsta-n-shit. It’s like Dr. Dre’s The Chronic album all over again.” <short pause> “White women are fucking crazy.” She continued to speaking but she was pretty indecipherable. God damn Ebonics!
I was thinking “…nothing in the world that will keep you from this movie.” Nothing? Nothing! <Echoing in my mind, repeatedly.>
Here are 5 things that would keep me from this movie.. (in no particular order)
1) Big cock / Succulent pussy. Pick one (I prefer the latter because I loves the ladies, but if I were gay I’d want some hardcore man junk).
2) Winning the lotto. Winning a $2 dollar scratch off would suffice.
3) Going to an art gallery opening. Free wine and cheese is da shit!
4) Cinemax (Skinamax) After Dark, and The Movie Channel or Showtime after 10pm. Because who doesn’t like soft-core porn.
5) The Tyra Banks Show. Insert ridiculing joke here ___________________________________________
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What do you think?
The Kid
Let me let all of our readers in on a little secret. I’m a pretty quiet, private guy. I really don’t like to talk a lot about myself all that much, since frankly my life isn’t all that interesting. But still, I got asked to do this blog and I thought to myself, “Hell, I get paid to write for a living (no, seriously, I do…), so why not do what I get paid to do as a full-time job as a part-time job, and for free?”
When I could not think of a single good reason, I decided to give it a go.
So here I am now trying to figure out what the hell to write about. Should I do something topical? Should I prattle on and on about myself in spite of my mundane existence? Should I be harshly critical of Bill O’Reilly?
And then it hit me: I should do something topical!
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