Breaking Down the Suck that is Kid Rock’s Music

Growing up, I’ve always been critical of people’s taste in music. I think it does give an indication of your personality, because you connect to what you listen to. You are actively choosing to relate to that song, or be in tune with the melody … unless, of course, you’re a musically devoid cretin who only listens to Top-40 pop anthems that say nothing of its creativity, nor anything positive of that artist either.

So, while I slowly pick up this newspaper and cover a pile of my 6th grade Backstreet Boys and MC Hammer CDs that sit on my desk, I realize that at some point, we’re all guilty of listening to some sort of bad music.

But, I cannot give anyone a legitimate pass on Kid Rock.

And neither can Cracked who breaks down every instance of suck in Kid’s new song, which painfully pays homage to his humble “country-esque” upbringing in none other than the most hill-billy bumkin place .. North Michigan.

More commentary after the jump …

I mean, look at this guy:

Kid Suck

Little does anyone know, before his music career, and even WELL before his time as b-boy fresh Kiddy Pebble, he played as the animatronic stunt double to Splinter the Rat in the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles:

I can only assume that at this point of his career, the only demographic that Kid Rock is trying to reach are those who look like and/or are Bubba Sparxxx. It should have ended when he tried to turn rap-rock into a sign of patriotism (we all remember the American flag cape). Still, god bless his little ambitious heart, cracking the ranks of the country music scene, normally dominated by the likes of douchey Kenny Chesney or Rascal Flatts. At least when he was rapping, it was easy to ignore. But there’s something so painfully sickening about contemporary country music that forces my ears to bleed.

Why isn’t Hep-C terminal?

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About helloimwes

22 year old nobody from Jersey with some ish on his mind. Boo-yah. View all posts by helloimwes

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