Monthly Archives: June 2008

Coldplay Daily Show Performance of “42”

The title says it all. Coldplay lays down an amazing, virtually breath taking performance of “42” on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Comedy Central’s syndicated player doesn’t do it justice, but for convenience check it out below. Otherwise, you can catch the full screen, full episode here.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

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Dane Cook: Worse Than Hitler?

By now, I think I’ve established that I’m not the biggest Dane Cook fan in the world. The short form is, his spoken attempts at humor (I refuse to actually call it “comedy”) fail to such an incredible degree that I have to resist the urge to punch, pummel or stab someone or something any time I hear one. Though I have to say I laughed pretty hard when I saw this:

Probably not safe for work, but I still recommend it.

Anyway, I recently read an article about a new book to be released this fall, titled “The Last Witness.” What I gathered from reading the story is that the book differs from the standard Hitler book formula of “boy meets art, boy loses art, boy grows square mustache and presides over mass murder failing reasonable alternative like wearing eyeliner and black clothing, boy kills self,” is that in this one he’s portrayed not only as a genocidal monster but as a deficient comic as well.

His favourite victim was the Luftwaffe chief Herman Goering, who was notoriously fond of awarding himself medals and decorations.

According to the book by the last surviving member of his bunker, Hitler recounted how Mrs Goering found her husband waving a baton over his underwear in the bedroom and asked him what he was doing.

“He replied: “I am promoting my underpants to OVERpants””, Hitler then joked.

Ah, wordplay. A staple of good comedy. (Do not proceed past the first four seconds. I’m sorry I even linked to it.)

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South Africans Pronounce New Black is Yellow?

Finally, my attempts at gansta-isms and excessive displays of bling bling are now socially acceptable … in South Africa. BBC News reports nearly 200,000 South African Chinese have been reclassified as black, to allow them to “benefit off government policies aimed at ending white domination in the private sector”.

Just like the Chinese : when there’s a dollar to be made, we’ll do anything to get it. Even turn black.

The news of South African reclassification made it to the Colbert Report “The Word” segment, which is embedded below for your viewing pleasure.

Vodpod videos no longer available.


SI Poll: MLB Players Overrate Derek Jeter’s Overratedness

Overrated? How many other Major Leaguers have their own fragrance?

As a Red Sox fan living in the New York market, I have a lot of contempt for New York Yankees captain Derek Jeter. While the national sports media has made it explicitly clear that they adore the Cap’n, the regularity and ferocity of the ballwashing he often receives from the local media can get downright sickening at times, particularly if you make the mistake of watching Yankee games on YES, as I do.

A collection of timely post-season hits several years back along with the good fortune of playing in New York has caused Jeter to be embedded nearly unanimously on people’s lists of the top players in the Major Leagues.

The problem with that is that Jeter doesn’t put up great power numbers, doesn’t play a particularly great shortstop and doesn’t steal a ton of bases. He does tend to hit for average, however, so he at least has that part of the five tools covered (though he’s only batting .276 at this point in the season, well below his .316 career mark).

I think it’s pretty easy to see the potential for some backlash against Jeter from those who (rightfully, in my opinion) feel he’s wrongly being classified as among the game’s elite rather than what he is, which is a very strong offensive player at a position that was until very recently one where teams were willing to punt offensive production in favor of strong defense.

On the surface, then, it shouldn’t come as much of a shock that the Yankee captain was voted the most overrated player in Major League Baseball by his peers in a recent Sports Illustrated poll.

I say “on the surface” because the guy he beat out, Patrick Duffy’s nephew (not him), has flat out sucked for, conservatively, the past five years. He was so bad this year that the San Francisco Giants, who also flat out suck, opted to put him in the baseball equivalent of timeout earlier in the year, removing him from the team’s starting rotation and banishing him to the bullpen after he lost his first six starts. He did not make an appearance as a reliever in that time, but rather was left to sit there and think about what he’d done.

Did I mention he’s the highest paid pitcher in baseball?

This guy placed second.

Other top vote getters include Red Sox outfielder J.D. Drew (okay, I can see this one since a lot of scouts like to compare him to guys like Mickey Mantle — having watched him take batting practice earlier in the week, I have a better understanding of why that seemingly ridiculous comparison was made — but it’s not like he’s really considered a superstar player by the masses), Mets third baseman David Wright, Red Sox infielder Kevin Youkilis (huh?) and most mystifying of all, Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez, the reigning American League MVP, consensus top player in baseball and a guy who will likely set the all-time home run record.

After the jump, I rush to Derek Jeter’s aid (that’s right) by throwing Jose Reyes and a few other less deserving players under the bus.

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California Love: Now Officially Available In “The Gay Kind”

Not to piggyback off of this post (well, maybe it is), but a recent California Supreme Court decision to legalize gay marriage may give Alabama a run for its proverbial homosexual money.

The May 15 ruling took effect at 5:01 p.m. (8:01 p.m. ET) Monday. Gay and lesbian couples had lined up for hours outside county clerk’s offices in anticipation of the decision coming into force.

Lesbian rights activists Del Martin, 87, and Phyllis Lyon, 84, were the first same-sex couple to receive a marriage license in San Francisco on Monday, with Mayor Gavin Newsom presiding over their wedding ceremony.

As such, they are the kissing couple pictured in the article. Out of courtesy, I should’ve told you before I linked to the article above. My bad.

Here it is again. (WARNING: May contain gross old lesbians kissing.)

“This is an extraordinary moment in history,” Newsom told a cheering, standing-room-only crowd at City Hall. “I think today, marriage as an institution has been strengthened.”

Oh really, Mayor Newsom?

Look, I hate to rain on your little gay pride parade, and I certainly wouldn’t want to put a damper on the wedding reception at Creepy Uncle Gill’s House of Pottery, Antiques, Gay Pancakes and Sodomy (For Her), but Pam Belluck of the New York Times has unearthed some startling information regarding gay marriage.

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Opie and Anthony tears off 9-11 Truther’s Rears, Hands it Back to Them With Message

I came across this old YouTube clip of radio’s Opie and Anthony crew – Greg “Opie” Hughes, Anthony Cumia, and Jim Norton – on their daily walk through Manhattan from the KROCK studios over to XM. They across a group of 9-11 Truthers, a group who claim that the attacks on September 11th were perpetuated and constructed by the US government, to bring the country into war with Iraq, amongst other claims. Norton proceeds to do what he does best: rip n00bs a new one:

Now, I’ve watched Loose Change, a documentary that first brought to light the possibilities of 9-11 being an inside job. And, I watched the film’s creators Dylan Avery and Jason Burmis in an interview with Democracy Now, debating with the editors of Popular Mechanics of the logistics of their movie as well as the events of 9-11.

The points made do get you thinking.  But as O&A clearly point out, it gives way too much credit to our government.    You can see in both the bearded-weirdo and Burmis in their respective videos their angry, close-minded views on the issue.  As much as they urge the public to open up to possibilities, its hypocritical for them to shut-down when faced with the same request.

This is the same problem with people on the far right, who claim that it is un-American to be opposed of the war, because that means you do not support the troops.  It’s shows poor taste and lacks respect to the people actually affected by the issue.  It isn’t wrong to ask questions, so long as you’re willing to accept answers that may or may not reflect your own beliefs.

And instead of protesting properly, like calmly explaining one’s point of view, or developing an actual plan that will garner some legitimate attention to the issue, these idiots do the most unproductive, asinine things.

What pro-war group decided that the best way to rally support for our troops abroad would be to sell shitty car magnets and flag pins?  And clearly the 9-11 truthers must not be bothered by the stank-laden bums and beggers who stop them at random on streets?

I’m so glad Monmouth University made me take Critical Discourse.   I now possess the skills to effectively voice my opinion, and air my grievances with the otherwise moronic brothers and sisters of my country.

Parts 1 and 3 of O&A’s encounter with the truthers follows below …

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Bruno Comes Out … In Theaters Next Spring

The third installment of Sasha Baron Cohen’s comedic holy trinity, “Bruno”, is expected to hit theaters May 2009. According to the Best Week Ever Blog, Austria’s beloved gay news reporter will run against “Angels and Demons”, the sequel to blockbuster and best selling book “The Da Vinci Code”.

Let’s see here …

One features a man’s quest to uncover the secret society that threatens Christianity as we know it, and the other showcases the quest of a man, a member of a closeted society that destroys the sanctity of Christianity, in an effort to spread an exceptional journalistic message. Going to be a tough choice to make at the movies that Friday night.

Here’s a clip of, hands-down, the funniest Bruno clip ever aired.

Check out more “ack-ya approved” clips after the jump:

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