In the 90’s, they called it the “Informer Syndrome”, infecting the ear’s of the masses with Canadian-like speed and white-boy-rasta-poserdom ferocity.
It destroys everything it touches, instantly killing hip-hop’s MC Shans credibility with the first “licky boom boom down”. Never before has the rap game seen such attriocities that left groups without game, rivals without their proverbial beefs, and take the shine out of the bling.
This hasn’t been the first occurance of the disease. The 80’s saw a rampant outbreak of “Markytonis Markcephilis Funky Bunchitosis”, rendering the infected shirtless and bandana’d, strangely sweating from virtually ever pore on their body. While the boxing gym and chain-link fence industries saw dramatic peaks in profit, the cost of musical life took a dramatic blow.
Because our blog is frequented by a younger crowd, I will spare you the utter horrors that remained after the July 1990 “You Can’t Touch This” epidemic.
You may be asking what this incredibly over-exaggerated, long-winded intro supposed to mean? Well, my friends … what follows is the latest series to be featured at RHSP. Think of it more as a PSA. Think of it more as knowing your enemy, so to better prepare yourself in battle. For what plagued the 80’s and 90’s as seemingly harmless Top-40 hits, lying dormant on dusty MTV Party To Go CDs at some failing record store … the threat to hip-hop has resurfaced.
The topic of this “What’s Killing Hip-Hop Now” segment comes from an article I read on Thickwitness, in which Adriel Luis proceeds to not only lie to him/herself, but to readers who came across it. What follows is a lengthy, yet incredibly detailed and enjoyable read, claiming that “globally appearing on kids’ iPods more frequently than, say, Brother Ali” , “speak[ing] to the youth that hip-hop has sought to speak to since it was first born”, and otherwise outright “hip-hop elitism” resulting in the ever-present “playa-hatin'” disease, are all grounds that make Soulja Boy the face of true hip hop to come.
I’d like to invite you into my office for a moment, so you can take a gander at this gem hanging from my wall:
“The Soulja Boy Effect” is what’s killing hip-hop now. It began as an innocent “youuuuuuuuu” and retarded dance video that makes even Darren’s Dance Grooves seem like fun in the sun. But the disease has spread. And it’s no longer the impossibly ignorable “Crank That” HIV that we should fear. No … AIDS has arrived … and it’s here to get silly with it! :
Yes, take a moment to blot the blood from both your ears and eyes. It’s as if we’ve poured water onto Mogwai-Souljaboy and got this! V.I.C. is the latest blow to the daggered heart of hip-hop, playfully urging you to “get silly”. If we were “coming to fruition” on a ho with the Superman, I wonder what this abonimation of hip-hop will slyly bring to light. It seems that there’s an infinite amount of ways these pseudo-gangsters can show their women h-to-the-izzos they love them, without having to slap a bitch.
Be able to identify symptoms and causes of the “Soulja Boy” effect below, and quickly scrub effected areas with hot, soapy water soon after.