Monthly Archives: July 2008

I (Don’t)Want to Hold Your Hand : McCain’s Campaign Trail Gets Uncomfortably Touchy Feely

Indecision 2008’s coverage of John McCain’s campaign journey covered the Arizona senator’s trip to Aspen Colorado, where he met spiritual guru and Tibetan leader Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso.  The Republican candidate was greeted warmly by Gyatso, who took must have taken a a page out of George Bush’s book on Foreign Diplomatic Etiquette. Take a look at McCain’s immense discomfort:

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Pundits and political correspondents may think differently than I, but I have narrowed my diagnosis down to two conclusions:

1) John McCain so terrified to be that close to a manly embrace, that the very touch of man skin shakes him to his core.

OK, strike that :

1) John McCain so terrified to be that close to a manly embrace, that the very touch of man skin shakes him to his core.

2) Although seemingly the go-to-guy for everything non-aggression, the Dalai Lama has one nasty kung-fu grip handshake.

Then again, let’s look at the facts.  The man dresses in nothing more than a bath robe, gets to chill out with his homeys and be all spiritual like, walks around in sandals, and is all about universal peace and happiness.

And we all know how much Republicans despise hippies.

[McBush picture via]


Oliver Stone Directs “W.”, Movie to Detail Life and Times of George W. Bush

My good friend Jon B. sent over this little gem of YouTube gold that should prove very interesting come election time.  It’s a trailer for Oliver Stone’s next movie “W.”, and, judging by the video, looks to take the Bush road less traveled: a subtle mockery of America’s worst president.

Starring as Dubya is Josh Brolin, who’s acting credentials range from older brother Brand Walsh in The Goonies, to corrupt Detective Trupo in American Gangster. The film will feature an impressive variety-cast, featuring the likes of Richard Dreyfuss as Dick Cheney, James Cromwell as Bush Sr., and the ever-hot Elizabeth Banks as the First Lady Laura Bush.

It looks extremely promising, if not for the horrifying reality that it is based off … well, the greater George W. Bush reality.

Britney Reportedly Close To Knowing Who Killed Her

Every once in a while, I like to type Britney Spears’ name into Google and see if it returns any matches. I did so today, and learned that she’d be paying K-Fed handsomely to raise her children, that she’s been nominated for the VMA for Best Female Video and that she’s set to star in a sadomasochistic sex movie.

The movie will focus on the true story of two students who were allegedly carjacked, kidnapped, raped and killed in the Tennessee city.

Ghetto Bragging Rights gossip columnist Clarence Star, who broke the story, believes it could be the right career move for Spears, explaining: “People need to see another side of Britney.”

Absolutely correct. I’ve always said that I want to take Britney seriously again, but I’m not sure that I can truly get back to appreciating her music until I see her involved in a simulated rape.

However, it is feared the mother-of-two will not be able to handle the “intensity” of the disturbing sex scenes.

A movie insider said: “The Knoxville Carjacking Party has a lot of sadomasochistic sex scenes in it. While it’s thought Britney can handle any average sex scenes, these scenes have a lot of intensity in them. She would have to raise her performance level to endure some of these scenes.”

Please, read those last two sentences again.

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Jon Stewart Thinks I’m Gay: A Reflection of My First Daily Show Taping

Inside the lobby of The Daily Show

Inside the lobby of The Daily Show

My first reaction was: Jon Stewart is talking and looking directly at me.
My second reaction was : god damnit, Jon Stewart thinks I’m gay!

These were the thoughts circulating through my star-struck fan boy head, sitting nearly 10-feet away from the desk of Jon Stewart, on the set of The Daily Show. The truly personable, humble, and tiny host of Comedy Central’s satire-political program stood before an amped crowd of 250, allowing the audience hit him with any questions that have been circulating in their buzzing minds.

I score the VIP tickets, he gets the first seat!

Ain't it a bitch: I score the VIP tickets, he gets the first seat!

Many ponder this predicament in their heads : if I had the opportunity to ask America’s Anchor a question, what would I ask?

“Where’s George Michael!?”

The first question of the short Q&A session, the one moment to ask anything in the world, and this is what I ask.

Perplexed, Stewart grimaces, and says, “Wow. That’s certainly not a question I’d expect a dude to ask.”

Of course, I’m not torn up that he wasn’t the guest. But I made a ton of George Michael jokes all week, and I didn’t want them to go to waste!

Surprisingly enough, Stewart apologized for the late change in the programming, taking it upon himself to personally rectify the situation. And this is the nature of his demeanor: respectful, humble, and, of course, funny.

If watching the program feels short-lived to home viewers, the taping is a relative eye-blinking of it.  After waiting outside the studio, inside the lobby, and sitting inside Stewart and company’s kingdom, the already short half-hour show turns to nearly 15-minutes of solid entertainment.  Still, watching how everything comes together was incredible.  Clever camera tricks and director cues make the studio look enormous.  While our seats were about 10-feet away from the famous desk, any seat in the house would produce an equally intimate look.

Stewart has incredible command of the audience and show.  It’s clear the man knows what he’s doing, and while not knowing exactly where a segment will end up, he knows the right direction to travel in.  The years have certainly made him wiser, articulate, and certainly smarter-ass’d than ever before.

Did I mention I’m a fan boy?

Best part of the experience: Larry Wilmore, senior black correspondent.  Either he’s a gigantic man, or Stewart is teenie.

I think it’s a little of both.

Will Ferrell on The Daily Show: And He’s a Chelsea FC Supporter!

Will Ferrell appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart last night, promoting his new movie Step Brothers. Him not wearing any flashy suit or “business casual” attire certainly did not surprise me. But, when Ferrell walked out onto the stage, check out what London football club jersey he was sporting:

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I’ll admit that my relationship with Ferrell has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride.

Old School: awesome.
Anchorman: tolerable.
Talladega Nights: atrocious.

But, being a Chelsea supporter has certainly boosted his stock.  John C. Reilly though has a lot of catching up to do.  He looks like a West Ham man, to me.

What’s Killing Hip-Hop Now: Diddy TV

To quote the wise words of a once semi-prosperous and legitimate face of modern rap music:

“Y’all know it’s all fucked up now right? // What the fuck I’ma do now? //What I’ma do now?”

That’s right, Mr. Diddy Daddy Sean Combs. What are the budding internet stars of tomorrow supposed to do now … huh? I suppose everything IS fucked up right now. Especially when you’re stealing the YouTube spotlight from hard-working indie-internet sensations like crying Britney Spears douche, or laughing German baby?

Are we to assume, sir, that by posting trite videos, reveling in a shocking self-discovery that he does, in fact, have “ten fingers and ten toes”, that Diddy hates babies?

Judge for yourself from the latest video blog posted at Diddy TV, where our favorite non-emcee shares his most intimate feelings of his inner-thug-child:

There is no dagger more sharper, driving into the heart of hip-hop, then the one with the insightful inscription that reads, “I just wanted to come check in with ya’ll, and tell ya I just got finished running .. just got finished breathing! And I’m alive! And I can run!”

Uh-huh, Diddy. Yeah! That is some serious Bad Boy Fo’ Life shit right there.

WNBA Brawl: Expect Suspensions

Big news out of the Women’s National Basketball Association (just rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?) on Tuesday night, as the ladies finally figured out that the best way to garner attention for the tree-falling-in-the-woods-like league is to use its collective feminine features to its fullest advantage.

With that said, I submit for your viewing pleasure “Malice at the Palace II,” a large-scale catfight (if you must) instigated by the WNBA’s most marketable athlete:

Fantastic. This has it all. Tackling, angry flailing, potentially serious injuries, and, yes, Rick Mahorn tossing around members of the fairer sex:

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