Life Imitates Art: Lifetime Presents “She’s Too Young: Oklahoma City”

The plot of an all-time classic Lifetime Original Movie appears to be playing out in the Sooner State. For whatever reason, WBAL in Baltimore has the scoop:

Health officials have identified an outbreak of syphilis occurring among teenagers younger than age 18 in central Oklahoma.

Oklahoma State Department of Health officials are alarmed because syphilis is a sexually transmitted disease most often seen in older age groups and can have significant health outcomes if undiagnosed and untreated, KOCO-TV reported. Officials are also concerned that the outbreak may spread to counties beyond central Oklahoma.They reported that 10 teenagers have been diagnosed with syphilis in central Oklahoma during the past four weeks, compared to 15 teens with the disease all of last year.

Health officials believe the growing popularity of teens attending parties where unprotected group sexual activity is encouraged may be fostering the opportunities for teens to become infected, they said in a news release.

That’s right, “She’s Too Young” enthusiasts. The big day has come. The young people of Oklahoma, obviously influenced by the cinematic brilliance of Marcia Gay Harden as “frigid bitch mother” and Alexis Dziena as “main syphilis girl”, have emulated television once again and embraced the glamourous way of life that the Lifetime Original depicted for those girls who shtupped the cool guy/syphilitic porn freak.

Joking aside, if the film has taught us anything, it’s that:

A person can contract and spread syphilis through oral, anal and vaginal sex, or through other intimate contact including kissing when a syphilis sore is present in the mouth.

People with the disease may not know they have it, because the primary symptom is a painless sore.

Side effects may include being attracted to the most unlikely heterosexual high school student imaginable. I mean, seriously. What a fag.

Better stick ’em all, because someone — perhaps even this guy — already has.

You can, and should, watch the amazing “She’s Too Young” on YouTube by clicking here.

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