Category Archives: Queering

Megan Fox Likes Girls Who Like Girls

meganfox

Transformers eye candy Megan Fox, who months ago slayed me with the best performance of her career on the red carpet at the Golden Globes when she declared herself “a man”, is at it again. This time she’s bisexual, a positively unique admission that sets her apart from every other 22-year-old female on, for example, college campuses across the country.

But while the headline reads “Megan Fox: I am bisexual”, it is her list of demands, so to speak, that is the real story here.

We’ll get to that, but first let’s get a little bit of our Freud on:

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List Of Things Eddy Curry Is Unwilling To Put In His Mouth Shrinks Yet Again

curry

In a troubling revelation that surely has nothing to do with his falling out of favor with the New York Knicks, it was reported in the tabloids yesterday that Eddy Curry has been slapped with a sexual harassment suit. By a dude.

The stunning court papers claim Curry, a married father of three, repeatedly approached chauffeur David Kuchinsky “in the nude,” allegedly telling him, “Look at me, Dave, look” and “Come and touch it, Dave.”

Curry also made Kuchinsky perform “humiliating tasks outside the scope of his employment, such as cleaning up and removing dirty towels [Curry had ejaculated into] so that his wife would not see them,” the Manhattan federal court suit says.

Because simply identifying one’s self as Eddy Curry’s chauffeur is not embarrassment enough.

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Brock Lesnar Could Be In Trouble This Saturday

Former WWE Champion Brock Lesnar returns to the Octagon in Minneapolis, Minnesota this Saturday night, looking to pick up his first UFC win in the semi-main event of UFC 87: Seek and Destroy. Lesnar looked absolutely terrifying for the first 80-85 seconds of the fight. Unfortunately, he didn’t look all that hot in the following five:

And so the former NCAA Division I amateur wrestling champion came away with a rather impressive loss that can be attributed heavily to both his opponent’s experience and his own inexperience. In looking for the kill, Lesnar became overly aggressive and Frank Mir was able to suck him in and tap him out in a matter of seconds.

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Texas Principal: Hair Not A Right, A Privilege

Get a haircut, Pocahontas Boy.

Those quarrelsome Native Americans are at it again. Not satisfied with merely being granted permission to live in the Land of Free (not to mention the Home of the Brave!), the headdress-wearing ingrates are now trying to encroach upon liberties that they simply have no business encroaching upon.

A small rural school district in Fort Bend County and a determined mother are tangled in a dispute over hair.

Michelle Betenbaugh says her 5-year-old son, Adriel Arocha, wears his hair long because of religious beliefs tied to his Native American heritage.

But the leaders of the Needville school district have strict rules about long hair on boys and don’t see any reason to make an exception in his case.

Seems pretty cut and dry to me. The kid is going to public school, that public school has rules, and shock of shocks, he’s expected to obey them, even if he or his parents don’t agree with them.

Newsflash to Ms. Betenbaugh: the Needville board of education doesn’t just work for you, it works for the collective interest of the community’s parents. Take it from somebody who has spent countless (read, about five) evenings at school board meetings, for every liberal out there that tries to use faith as a crutch to justify their child’s hair style, there’s a conservative who knows better than to let their little boy be in proximity to a tiny queer in training. And, as many studies have shown, nothing turns a straight boy into a little flaming homosexual quicker than limiting the impressionable child’s exposure to hairdressers.

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California Love: Now Officially Available In “The Gay Kind”

Not to piggyback off of this post (well, maybe it is), but a recent California Supreme Court decision to legalize gay marriage may give Alabama a run for its proverbial homosexual money.

The May 15 ruling took effect at 5:01 p.m. (8:01 p.m. ET) Monday. Gay and lesbian couples had lined up for hours outside county clerk’s offices in anticipation of the decision coming into force.

Lesbian rights activists Del Martin, 87, and Phyllis Lyon, 84, were the first same-sex couple to receive a marriage license in San Francisco on Monday, with Mayor Gavin Newsom presiding over their wedding ceremony.

As such, they are the kissing couple pictured in the article. Out of courtesy, I should’ve told you before I linked to the article above. My bad.

Here it is again. (WARNING: May contain gross old lesbians kissing.)

“This is an extraordinary moment in history,” Newsom told a cheering, standing-room-only crowd at City Hall. “I think today, marriage as an institution has been strengthened.”

Oh really, Mayor Newsom?

Look, I hate to rain on your little gay pride parade, and I certainly wouldn’t want to put a damper on the wedding reception at Creepy Uncle Gill’s House of Pottery, Antiques, Gay Pancakes and Sodomy (For Her), but Pam Belluck of the New York Times has unearthed some startling information regarding gay marriage.

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