Tag Archives: paris hilton

It Seems To Paris Hilton That She’s Lived Her Life Like A Candle In The Wind

paris

…except for the whole sex tape thing.

The Sun has an article up reviewing Paris Hilton’s latest bit of nonfiction cinema, “Paris, Not France”, which apparently ran at the Cannes Film Festival over the weekend.

Seemingly, what the British press took away from this moving account was Paris’s statement that, if not for the whole fucking on tape thing, she could’ve been the next Princess Diana.

In the article, the Brits used their subtle ways to express derision.

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Paris Hilton Deals Out a Political Pwn of Epic Proportions

You have to hand it to Paris Hilton.  The bitch can’t do anything right on her own.  But tell her what to do in front of a camera, with footage poised for internet distribution, and she’s Dame Judi Dench.

Adding to the outrage the Hilton camp has been screaming over John McCain’s most recent Obama-smear, Hollywood’s favorite cock-eyed princess has teamed up with Funny or Die to deliver her own one-two punch. And by that, I mean brilliantly scripted faux-ad that I’m sure took her several hundred takes to nail:

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If Paris actually ran for office, I would probably support her. Unlike politicians like Elliot Spitzer and Bill Clinton before her, her exploited sexual deviancy has only helped her popular vote. And she certainly wouldn’t waste our time asking for the definition of “is”: she simply wouldn’t understand.

[Hilton 08′ Ad via Huffington Post]